Everyone, this is George. George, this is everyone.

Sooooooo, I was drinking out of my water bottle yesterday in my room. And as is normal with water-bottle drinking, I tipped my head back and my eyes drifted up to the ceiling… where I saw, I kid you not, the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen in person. Being the coolest girl in the world, I simply took a step back, realized there was not a damn thing I could do about it since it was 5 feet above my head, and went about the rest of my day.

UNFORTUNALY George didn’t like the ceiling very much and when I came in to bed several hours later (in the almost total darkness mind you because the power was out and all I had was a candle), he had moved SEVERAL feet down the wall towards my desk. Again, being the coolest girl in the world, I thought there was not much I could do about it in the complete darkness and went to bed. I maaaaaay have checked that my mosquito net was tightly tucked in under my mattress about 12 times before I blew out my candle, and I maaaaaay have woken up several times last night thinking about bugs in my bed, but that has no standing whatsoever on my coolest girl in the world status.

As I was saying. I woke up in the morning only slightly rested, and George was gone. Being the coolest girl in the world, I figured he was probably somewhere under my things on my desk and GINGERLY retrieved my books, CAREFULLY selected my clothes for the day, got dressed and went to training where I promptly forgot about George. Until tonight.

As I was heading to bed, I stopped at my water filter on my desk to fill up my water bottle. Weeeeellll, George apparently likes my water filter and as I stood up from refilling my bottle, he gave me a big hello in the form of being six inches from my face. *sigh* At this point I had to draw the line. Cool girl or not, it was simply unacceptable for George to invade my personal bubble to the tune of six inches from my face. He had to go. So I calmly walked out to my host sister and asked for some help. She came and looked at the spider, was TOTALLY unimpressed and when I said I wanted to take him outside, she picked up her shoe and went to smack it.

To the eternal credit of my cool-girl status, I grabbed her hand before she could kill poor George and explained that I simply wanted him outside. She rolled her eyes at me, picked up the water filter (George didn’t like that very much and I must admit I did let out the TINIEST squeak when he started to quickly run across the water filter) and walked the filter to the back door. And ALSO to my eternal cool-girl credit, when she set the filter down to open the door, I calmly picked it up and carried it all the way out to the porch and gently shooed George to the ground. I then thanked my sister for her help, calmly returned to my room, locked my door….

AND PROCEEDED TO PERFORM A GREAT BIG “BLEGH”-WIGGLE-DANCE-FREAK OUT!!!!!! I mean seriously, this thing was F-ing HUGE, fast, HUGE, mobile, and did I mention, BIG?!?!?!?! It was a straight-up tarantula and I ALREADY had a massive bug bite (we’re talking over an inch wide) on my arm that I got while sleeping  under my supposedly secure mosquito net and then this MONSTER of a spider comes along and what the hell was I supposed to do?! Just let it move about my room for 2 months, never knowing where it would invade my personal bubble next, chewing on me when it felt hungry?! I Think Not! (Actually, the real reason I moved it was because I think it had an egg-sac in its mouth (something big and white at any rate) and I’ll be damned if I let a bunch of little baby tarantulas hang out in my room with my questionable mosquito net)!

 

But don’t forget, I’m the coolest girl in the world.

 

THE END!